When the Answer is “NO”

As I fastly approach another birthday, I can say unequivocally that God has been good and gracious to me. He has blessed me, saved me, kept me, healed me, forgiven me, prospered me, and disciplined me. For all these things and so much more, I am deeply grateful.

Still, there have been times in my life when I can honestly say that I have experienced unpleasant circumstances that remain difficult to understand. Dreams unfulfilled. Victories undiscovered.

In my search for inner peace and acceptance of said conditions, I often pray the serenity prayer: “Father, help me have courage to change the things I can change, grace to accept the things that I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Ultimately, I search the scriptures for answers and in my searching I find that I am not the first person of faith who has ever had to wrestle with such issues. Allow me to show you such people who had to accept “no” as an answer from God and how we should respond at such times.

The Disciples of Jesus. In Matthew 16:20 and again in Matthew 17:9, the Lord Jesus forbid his closest followers from testifying that He was the Christ and that they had seen Him in all His transfigured glory. Imagine having a powerful revelation of God and not being able to share it with anyone else! How frustrating it must have been to have a testimony and a vision from the Lord and be commanded – even temporarily – not to say anything about it. They probably were very tempted to disobey; it is human nature for us not to want to submit to authority. Nevertheless, we can resist such temptations by still saying “yes, Lord” and obeying His command. Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not be weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not.”

Paul the Apostle. This great pillar of the early church wrote most of the books in the New Testament. He experienced great victories and miracles in his ministry. Yet Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 that he had a “thorn in the flesh, a messenger from Satan who buffeted him everywhere he went.” While we don’t know exactly what form Paul’s thorn took, we do know that he prayed three times for the Lord to deliver him from it. Each time the Lord’s answer to Paul was “no.” The Lord wants us to learn that His grace alone is sufficient for whatever “thorns” we have to deal with in our walk with Him. We are to trust Him and His timing. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.”

John the Apostle. The disciple whom Jesus loved and who was closest to Him during His earthly ministry wrote the most insightful gospel into our Lord’s divinity and recorded the Revelation of the Apocalypse. While receiving this amazing revelation, John heard words in heaven that he was forbidden to write down (Revelation 10:4). To this day those words remain hidden from our knowledge. These mysteries represent divinely-ordained “gaps” in our own spiritual understanding. The only way for us to be at peace with the unknown is to follow Psalm 27:14 which says, “Wait on the Lord and be of good courage, for He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord.”

Timothy the Pastor. A convert of Paul and his spiritual son in the gospel ministry, he was traveling with the apostle and others on a missionary journey when the Holy Spirit forbid them to preach in Asia and Bythnia. This account, found in Acts 16:6-7, is an example of how even though God has called some of us to ministry, it is not up to us to pick and choose where we will minister. Sometimes, for reasons that He may never choose to reveal to us, the Lord won’t let us expand our ministry in areas we desire. In such times, we must follow 1 Corinthians 15:58, which says, “Be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for as much as you know that your labor for the Lord is not in vain.”

Lazarus, Mary and Martha. This brother and his two sisters lived in Bethany and were close friends of the Lord Jesus. When Lazarus became fatally ill (John 11), Mary and Martha sent messengers to Jesus to come and heal him. Instead of coming immediately and doing what they requested, the Lord waited until Lazarus had been dead for four days! We know now that Jesus intended all along to raise Lazarus from the dead, but they didn’t know that at the time. Sometimes we are faced with illnesses and while we pray for healing, we don’t always know whether the Lord will choose to respond when and how we desire. When faced with such uncertainty, we should do as Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice.”

Daniel the Prophet. The last of the major prophets of the Old Testament, Daniel was a devout Jew living in exile in pagan Babylon when he received a message from an angel of the Lord. Daniel didn’t fully understand the meaning of the vision and was told to seal the prophecy without having that understanding (chapter 12:8-9). When God shows or tells us something we can’t understand, we are to yet obey 1 Thessalonians 5:18, which says, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

In conclusion, I ask that you pray for me as I continue to pray for you that we can all learn how to live with the times when God says “no”. If others before us were able to accept their circumstances and keep the faith, so can you and I. This song has always helped me:

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May God the Father bless and keep you is my prayer in the Lord Jesus’ name by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.