The Meaning of Christmas 2008

This is a horribile way to start a blog entry about Christmas, but right now I’m going through a terrible, ugly, painful divorce. Despite my pleas and prayers for a peaceful parting of ways, this promises to drag on and on with a lot of hurt feelings and anguish. I am frustrated with the situation because so much of it is based on bad information and incorrect assumptions. So, to my mind, all of the drama and pain and everything is  . . . well, unnecessary.

So I get mad at the situation. I’ve gotten good at getting over it, but this holiday season, it’s tough. I’m dreaming of opening gifts with my daughter and a loving wife on Christmas morning, then making breakfast for them and spending time with both families. I got to spend time with my daughter, which was good. But I got mad at the situation because we really didn’t have to go through all this. Then I got mad at myself, for allowing myself to stay angry about the situation on what was an otherwise wonderful Christmas day.

So leave it to my 2-year-old to put things in perspective with a few choice words, enthusiastically said in a pre-bedtime phone call: “I love you, daddeee!”

My daughter loves me. I’m pretty sure she means it.

Just because “A Message From God” came through these fingers, don’t think for a second that I’m above brooding and dwelling on my troubles or stewing in my frustrations. Any of us can get stuck focusing on the negative. I was so stuck in fact, that I almost missed that divine message I was getting in that short little statement from my daughter, who’s still learning to talk: “I love you, daddee!!”

The lesson and the challenge to me was clear: Focus on love.

With so much bad news coming down the pipe — economy, unemployment, the environment, let alone personal problems — it’s easy to give all our attention to what brings us down. Instead, focus on love. Not just this holiday season, but every day. Not for anyone else’s sake, but for your own.

And to my little girl: “I love you back, bay-beee!”

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Losing Control

If there is one thing the events of the past year has taught me, it’s to let go of the illusion of control. Restraint is still useful. So is influence. But if you spend to much time trying to control how things turn out, you’ll drive a lot of people crazy — starting with yourself.

Parable of the Cast Iron Skillet

In the midst of your seasoning, there are many things you will not be able to control. But what you can control are your choices. YOU choose how you move through the process. YOU choose the attitude you have in the midst of it. YOU choose who you are being in relationship to it. Choose wisely and from love. Eventually the heat will die down.

Responses

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  1. This is a little note to let you know that someone outside your family feels your pain and understand.

    But what you said should always hold true in your heart no matter the problems. Focus on what is more important to you, what you still have and not focus on the problems.

    I give you a little something to think about…
    This entire year has been unlucky for me. I’ve gone from having everything to losing everything. From spending times in place that I should have never been in the first place, to getting ready to file for bankruptcy. But despite all the financial and health related problems, I still find comfort knowing that even though I am facing all these problems,I still find myself helping others and feel happy about doing it too. I forget about the my problems and worries and focus on my task of completing my MD education and making my dream of having bases for my project call:

    http://www.dreamhungry.com

    setup in all major cities to help young homeless/needy children have a brighter and better future and a place where they can come and be fed and feel safe.

    Although, I do not have enough support to setup my first base. I hope o have one setup in the future. And with all these focuses, i tend to lose thoughts of all the problems that is going on in my life.

    Hope this helps you in your time of hardship.

    from the dreamhungry.com project desk…

    take care and have a happy holiday season.

  2. For whatever it is worth, every challenge in our life presents itself for a reason. Malachi 3:1-3 and Titus 2:14 discusses persecution and challenges as a means of purifying God’s people. I would let God know how painful it feels. I wrote something which I hope you would enjoy, entitled “Does God Really Exist”. For the record, I am a spiritual writer, who is a child of the Messiah.

    Sabbay
    Happy Holidays in Christ

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