“. . . And Give You Peace . . .”

May the Lord bless you and keep you
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you
And be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
And give you peace. Amen.
Numbers 6:22-27

I didn’t know until I started writing this blog entry that that prayer was in Numbers. I just knew that I liked it enough to say it each night to my daughter before we put her down to sleep. It was (and is) very important to me to instill in her a sense of KNOWING that she’s connected to God — always has been, always will be.

It’s been more than a year since I’ve had the chance to send her to sleep with those words. My marriage disintegrated last August, and there’s still pain ahead on the road to a final divorce. But the hardest part of all is being away from her — not making a meal for her, not reading to her before bedtime. I still get to see her on weekends, and she’s as ecstatic about it as I am. I have no doubts about my place in my daughter’s heart.

Lately, I’ve been ruminating on the challenges that lie ahead in my divorce, and it deeply saddens me. I do find comfort and solace in knowing that God is with me every step of the way, but I still mourn the loss of my marriage, and of the family life I worked so hard for. Today was one of those days when I needed some encouragement, when I needed to know that despite my absence from her daily life, that she’s thinking of me in some way.

At the end of today’s visit, I buckled her into her childseat. And I told her: “May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you . . .”

And without prompting, in the smiling voice of my own child, God spoke to me:

” . . . and give you peace.”

Amen.

I’m going to sleep well tonight.